A girl in nature...
Hello all!
I hope everyone is embracing fall. I’ve already had my favorite fall salad at my nearby health food store/café. I had an interesting memory surface this past week, and it’s got me feeling nostalgic. So I’m dedicating this post to the history and meaning of why I write so much about the woods, mountains, and hiking in my novels. I’ll, of course, tie it to Pining For You.
First, those pics up there. I wanted to share some old college pics and new ones of me when I was hiking and feeling free. I know—what a babyface in those old ones. The one with the bear is in Vale, CO, I believe? The other one of me is either Vale or Breckenridge. The others are from the Rocky Mountains and Hanging Lake in Colorado. Look at that water! That hike inspired a scene in my Ashwater series. The fall folliage ones are from a trip to Gettysburg my sophomore year of college. Some of the new ones are up by Weatherly, Jim Thorpe, and some are from my walks at a nearby park.
Anyway, I’ve always had this connection with the woods. Or maybe that’s not the right word. Maybe it’s fascination. The memory that surfaced was about a friend I met during my freshman or sophomore year of college. At that time, I was nursing some heartache. I was feeling sad and wandered into the student union to grab some lunch. Before I got to it, a boy I’d seen around approached me with a pick-up line. I remember it being so terrible. It might have been the whole—did it hurt when you fell from heaven one. Doesn’t matter. I think I asked something like—has this worked on anyone? I told him straight away that I wasn’t interested. I think he said something like—give me time. Now that was funny and friend-worthy.
So, yes, we became friends. No, not with benefits. Your mind...out of that gutter! Anyway, I confided in him about my heartache, and he suggested a way to help—go hiking on one of the Appalachian trails nearby. Get out in nature. I thought to myself—why not? Stewing in sadness around campus wasn’t helping. Also, and I don’t know if anyone else feels this way but being around people actually makes me feel lonelier when I’m sad.
So I went hiking. It changed everything. I haven’t posted much about my spiritual awakening and journey over the past year, but, when I think back now, my path started many years ago on that first hike. There’s something about being in nature that allows a person to be present and one with their surroundings. I will do another post about spirituality and energy but suffice it to say—being present and living in the now is so important to peace. I can still hear the trickling of water and scent of moss and cedar from that hike long ago at the Tumbling Run waterfall trail. Major scenes from my Fireflies trilogy take place there. It was so beautiful. Life seemed simpler. My heart lightened. I sensed something underneath my heavy thoughts. We spend so much time in our heads. I know this better than most because I’m a writer and professor. I contemplate a lot. But it’s important to get out of our heads. Nature helps. It allows your soul to shine through the heavy clouds in your mind.
And this brings me back to Pining For You…
My main character, Nicole, has an experience in nature like she’s never had before. She’s taking a walk at her favorite wooded park and has a premonition—a sense of foreboding that something is terribly wrong with Everett, her love interest. The feeling has every hair on her body standing on end. She stops dead in her tracks as the park, devoid of other people, falls eerily silent. Nicole doesn’t understand what could possibly be happening and yet, in her heart, she knows that something terrible is coming, and it’s going to hit her like a tidal wave. The tears come, warm and thick down her cheeks as dread fills her belly. Her mind reasons with the feeling, telling herself that she’s mistaken. Nothing is wrong with Everett. They just had a lovely evening together. But the intuition, the sense she has deep in her bones, knows the dread is real. For Nicole, it is the beginning of what some call the dark night of the soul—a deep sense of emptiness and darkness.
Don’t despair. While it’s a soul crushing moment in the book, there’s light too. A doe steps out onto the path with Nicole and they lock eyes. Her breath catches. The doe is so peaceful and full of life. They watch each other for a few minutes, unmoving. Then Nicole hears a voice, “It’s going to be okay. You are going to be okay.” At first, she thinks it’s the deer speaking to her but it’s more than that. It’s her own voice. It has a certainty to it as well. It doesn’t chase away the despair, but it provides something else, something she’ll think back upon many times in the future—an inner peace and faith. It’s her first glimpse into something beyond anything she’s ever known. An intense amount of dread and suffering triggered it, but it was nature that cracked open a portal to peace.
As most of you know, I wrote Pining For You based on real experiences. This particular moment did happen to me. That’s my doe up there in the pictures. I was able to snap her photo before she left. Every walk and hike I’ve taken since that day has felt different for me. There’s a sense of aliveness all around me now. I look at the trees. I hear the sounds of birds and insects. I feel light breezes on my skin. I graze pine needles and leaves as I pass by trees. I feel an overwhelming sense of peace and stillness that can’t be touched by feelings of sadness or happiness, for that matter. I’ve always had a lightworker soul, and I’ve come to realize that everyone has the capacity to know true peace. I want to write a different post about this, but I’ll add one tidbit—fear is what holds people back. If there's pain inside you, don’t shy away from it. Shed light on it. Face it head on. Take a walk in nature. Feel the aliveness of yourself and everything around you. If you don’t do nature, you can do the urban thing. There’s plenty of beauty in a city too. Just get out of your head and realize you are not the pain. It can't touch the lightness of who you truly are. That’s what is important.
I know I got deep for this one. I’ll lighten it up next time and talk about ice cream or something.
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